Cause i miss you, baby.

i'm only posting because i know i have GOT to have shit on my head.
just dont know what it is.
saw my parents today.
both.
first time i've seen my dad since he kicked me out.
hot damn.
it was my own little christmas miracle.
oh JOY.
fucking JOY, and HAPPINESS, AND RAINBOWS.
fuck, im full with such anger.
i havent been angry like this for a while.




lovely..
just...
ugh.













i don;t know how to feel about all this.
i want to be happy,
but i dont want to fake it.

i need help,
im so lost.
i feel like a little kid lost in a big old store, lost, but excited.
being alone in the store,
but at the same time wanting mommys hand.....



i dont know i dont know i dont know!
i just gotta...shove it all inside.
hide it.
because i cant put this on them.
i cant put it on him.