Sophia Note put her face into the pillow and screamed her life away. She screamed for love, hate, life, death- she screamed because he didn’t want her, and she screamed because she still did. She screamed because no one knew what exactly went on in her head. She screamed because she was tired of being drugged, and she screamed because she needed the sweet embrace of sedation. She screamed because she was oh so young for all this, she screamed because her bones ached and her mind moaned with old age. She screamed for freedom and she screamed for structure. She wanted to be understood more then anything, and at the same time she just wanted to be left alone. Her world went black and her eyes closed tight, as she slowly let go to what she thought was the end.
Rock Bottom.
Devon Vee Anderson
Her eyes opened up to the view of Blue cement. A dark blue, she almost fell into the color. Her eyes burned, and she blinked several times. She looked over to her side to see a wall of the same cement. She sighed and turned another way- and opening. The oval she laid on had purple cushions for her body. All around there were hundreds of these little ‘human cubbies’. She saw many other people laying in them, they were several stories up, stairs leading down to the far down floor. She sat up, the cubby not permitting much sitting room, and she saw another person rise. The man looked like he was in his 40’s. He had a shiny bald spot right on the back of his head. He was dressed as a business man; his eyes were puffy as if he’d been crying for a very long time. He walked to the edge of the leveled cement, and looked down. He shook his head, and simply fell off the edge to what was obviously his death. Sophia rushed to the edge, and saw him hit the ground with a silent ‘thump’. A large foam pad had stopped his painful death. He sat up and placed his head in his hands, crying again. “Why?” he called out.
Right then a Boney hand grabbed Sophia’s shoulder. She almost screamed, but she quickly covered her mouth. She turned around to see a boney male, giving her a grim smile. He had the face of a model; except it was all sunken in. his eyes had a dark purple hue under them, as if he hadn’t slept for a long, long time. His eyes seemed too large for his head, but that was because he seemed to have absolutely no fat in his body. He had on what looked like trendy teenage clothes, right out of a magazine. He looked her over, and shook his head. “A new arrival, eh? And you already had to see a jumper. I guess its better you see that then an actual attempt.” His voice was raspy, and quite manly. It didn’t really fit his outer character too well.
Sophia was so confused. She looked at him as if he was crazy, and said, “actual…attempt? Where am I? What is this place? Is this hell? Heaven? Am I alive?” her voice quick, and frantic. She looked at him with anger in her confused blue eyes. She jerked her shoulder out of his clammy touch. His hand went to her hair, and touched it. It was a dirty blonde, and rather thrashed. She slapped his hand away, and took a small step away from him. She knew she was too close to the edge, but she would survive the fall if she had to.
“Well well well, aren’t we a lively one. You are in Rock Bottom, the worst place to be. Ever.” He shook his head sadly, and looked at the girl. “You got to the point where you couldn’t deal with it anymore. To such a point where you ended up here. So, Welcome to Rock Bottom.” He took a step back and held out his hand.
She shook it with a half heart. She was still very. Very confused, but at the same time she almost at home. She wasn’t going to have to deal with all that bullshit in her life anymore- what ever it was. She could barely remember those hard days. Now she just knew her sorrow and hate that filled her heart. She let go of the mans hand and looked at him with an odd eye. “What’s your name?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper.
“My name? Oh i'm so very sorry. My name is Charles. And you are?...” he looked at her expectantly.
“Sophia… Sophia Note.” She said slowly. She hated her name. That name that had once meant something to some one- now it meant nothing. It was nothing but meaningless words to her, and that’s how it would stay.
He backed away from her, and turned. “Follow me Miss Note. There are many things you need to know.”
She followed after him almost obediently. He was the only thing somewhat familiar to her here, and she didn’t want to leave his side. He walked down the stairs for a second then stopped, causing Sophia to bump into him lightly. She gave a low apology and he sighed. He turned and started in on what seemed to be very much memorized. “Some people like to take the stairs, and to count them- while others like to through their selves over the side. It’s your choice!” he tried to sound enthusiastic, but simply couldn’t do it. He sighed once more and looked at her. He continued down the stairs, counting them out loud, just low enough so it seemed he was trying to be discreet.
Close at his heels Sophia caught herself staring at the sleeping people. She soon realized many of ‘sleeping’ people were simply crying in silence. Many of the occupants had their backs to the stairs, as if trying to find some privacy in a very public place.
Finally they reached the bottom of the stairs and she looked up. Beyond the pad, there was a net to catch those who tried to jump from the very top. The stairs were padded on the edges, and ended in foam on the bottom. It was all very full-proof. She looked at the male in front of her, who had gained some distance in her time of observation. She quickened her pace, and caught up quickly. He glanced at her, almost annoyed at her curiosity. He kept walking, quickening his pace. He pointed to a large archway. Inside stone benches, all a dark blue, to match the cubby holes. There was a counter, and behind it was a dark shadow. A few people ate at the tables. A man was dragging a tin tray along the cement, spoons coming out of the shadows, putting food on the tray. When he was done, he almost dragged himself to a table. No two people sat at the same table. They all sat in a silent sadness, making the cafeteria seem dead.
“This is the mess hall. This is where we eat as a community, and share our problems!” Charles enthusiasm was so forced it almost seemed to hurt him. Her tried to smile, but failed miserably. He turned and looked down the hall. He waved his hand in the general direction. “You know what? Go look at this shit hole your self. The public bath rooms are that way, the library, and the gym. And don’t go any doors with red frames. That’s it, kid. Have a fucking blast.”
His gentleman demeanor just washed away. She glanced down the hall and gave a slight sigh, and muttered, “I’m assuming you don’t like your job.”
He turned to her, and glared. “No, I don’t. I’m just as fucked up as anyone else here, and yet I have to be the happy greeter. I don’t know when the damn job was put on me, but apparently I can’t quit. So, you can go look around, and try and enjoy this god forsaken place the best you can. Now just leave me alone.” He turned around and without looking back went back to the cubbie holes- Sophie assumed he was going to go lay in his cubbie and sob silently like the other sad sights in the main room. Sophia gave a sad little look at the back of his head, then looked at the hall way he had so rudely pointed out.
She walked down the hall, taking in all the details. She looked up, and saw on the cement hall’s ceiling it read in white, “SMILE! BE HAPPY! IT WILL BE O.K.!” over, and over, and over. Her eyes glanced over everything quickly, when they settled on the bath room doors. The girl’s room sign was hunched over, as if she was crying, and the boy’s sign was holding his fists up in anger, screaming in agony. Sophia went into the girls, turning left into the light purple cement room. On the ceiling in large white letters it said, “THINK PRETTY!” She turned to the mirrors, most of which were cracked, only to see her frazzled blonde hair was a complete mess. She had rings under her eyes, and tear streaked cheeks. Her eyes looked hollow and sad, but almost…angry. She looked down at her jeans that clung to her. She forgot why they were so necessary to her, but she wanted to remember. Her Black wife beater showed off the tops of her teenage breasts, as if it was necessary. Around her neck was a chain, and on that chain was a little gold ring. Why didn’t she just wear the ring? She couldn’t remember. Her nails were painted a black that looked like it had started to scratch off. Her bare feet showed the same; also she now recognized the feel of a chain on her ankle. She looked at it and there was half a heart on it, oh so small. She felt an odd warmth inside her when she saw it, but couldn’t place her finger on this feeling. Her blue eyes blinked and water filled her vision, blurring it. Her hand slammed into the mirror and she gave out a cry. She heard a stall behind her close quickly, and some one almost ran out of the bathroom, startled by the crash. Sophia looked at her fist- she wasn’t bleeding, luckily. She felt dirty, after looking at her self for so long. She continued walking in the bathroom, almost dragging her feet to move. She just wanted to curl into a ball. The bathroom took another left, and she found the shower. One girl was in it, in the far back. Many shower heads lined the walls, curtains separating them. She closed a curtained area that was far from the other girl. She stripped her clothes off, putting them on a hook that was out side the shower curtain. The white curtain didn’t hide very much, as she could see the shape of the other girl, and could see her move. She let the water run over her, sighing once, and then felt the harsh tears streak her face quicker and quicker, the onslaught relentless.
She had stood in that shower for hours. She walked out, not caring about her exposed self, and found that there was a towel now hanging from her hook. She took it and quickly dried, putting her clothes back on. She walked out into the bathroom, looking for some where to put her damp towel. Next to the showers was a cabinet, which was a almost too clean white. She opened it. On the shelves were towels, and below it was a shoot, that said ‘DIRTY’. She let it fall into the shoot, shrugging lightly. Hanging on the doors were several brushes, which she used quickly on her hair. Soon she was down prepping herself, attempting to make her sorrow some what less, but to no prevail.
A large dark blue archway opened on her right, and a small room with one cement bench in it, right in the middle, and one shelf, that covered the back wall. the floor was padded with the same foam that was on the floor in the main room. The pathetic Library looked completely untouched. Sophia backed out, and continued on her quest to see what this place held in store. Her grand quest came to an end as she turned a corner, a rounded right. She dragged her fingers along the cement, when she saw the end of the hall, a red framed door at the very end. To her left another door frame, inside was a bunch of mats for exercising, all of which were white. There was a window, and she rushed to it, having to get on her toes to see into it, her small five foot one structure barely letting her see what she hoped was the outside world. Instead, there was a light, and what looked like an old painted hell side. She sighed and dropped down; turning her disappointed self to see what else there was for exercising. There were several pull-up bars, and a medicine ball. With plenty of space, It seemed they preferred exercising to reading in this strange facility.
She slowly backed out, and looked at the red framed door with some curiosity. It said ‘Closed’ on a sign, written boldly in black on the cheap white plastic. She sighed and turned away, believing it was best to just follow the rules and be obedient.
Rock Bottom.
Devon Vee Anderson
Her eyes opened up to the view of Blue cement. A dark blue, she almost fell into the color. Her eyes burned, and she blinked several times. She looked over to her side to see a wall of the same cement. She sighed and turned another way- and opening. The oval she laid on had purple cushions for her body. All around there were hundreds of these little ‘human cubbies’. She saw many other people laying in them, they were several stories up, stairs leading down to the far down floor. She sat up, the cubby not permitting much sitting room, and she saw another person rise. The man looked like he was in his 40’s. He had a shiny bald spot right on the back of his head. He was dressed as a business man; his eyes were puffy as if he’d been crying for a very long time. He walked to the edge of the leveled cement, and looked down. He shook his head, and simply fell off the edge to what was obviously his death. Sophia rushed to the edge, and saw him hit the ground with a silent ‘thump’. A large foam pad had stopped his painful death. He sat up and placed his head in his hands, crying again. “Why?” he called out.
Right then a Boney hand grabbed Sophia’s shoulder. She almost screamed, but she quickly covered her mouth. She turned around to see a boney male, giving her a grim smile. He had the face of a model; except it was all sunken in. his eyes had a dark purple hue under them, as if he hadn’t slept for a long, long time. His eyes seemed too large for his head, but that was because he seemed to have absolutely no fat in his body. He had on what looked like trendy teenage clothes, right out of a magazine. He looked her over, and shook his head. “A new arrival, eh? And you already had to see a jumper. I guess its better you see that then an actual attempt.” His voice was raspy, and quite manly. It didn’t really fit his outer character too well.
Sophia was so confused. She looked at him as if he was crazy, and said, “actual…attempt? Where am I? What is this place? Is this hell? Heaven? Am I alive?” her voice quick, and frantic. She looked at him with anger in her confused blue eyes. She jerked her shoulder out of his clammy touch. His hand went to her hair, and touched it. It was a dirty blonde, and rather thrashed. She slapped his hand away, and took a small step away from him. She knew she was too close to the edge, but she would survive the fall if she had to.
“Well well well, aren’t we a lively one. You are in Rock Bottom, the worst place to be. Ever.” He shook his head sadly, and looked at the girl. “You got to the point where you couldn’t deal with it anymore. To such a point where you ended up here. So, Welcome to Rock Bottom.” He took a step back and held out his hand.
She shook it with a half heart. She was still very. Very confused, but at the same time she almost at home. She wasn’t going to have to deal with all that bullshit in her life anymore- what ever it was. She could barely remember those hard days. Now she just knew her sorrow and hate that filled her heart. She let go of the mans hand and looked at him with an odd eye. “What’s your name?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper.
“My name? Oh i'm so very sorry. My name is Charles. And you are?...” he looked at her expectantly.
“Sophia… Sophia Note.” She said slowly. She hated her name. That name that had once meant something to some one- now it meant nothing. It was nothing but meaningless words to her, and that’s how it would stay.
He backed away from her, and turned. “Follow me Miss Note. There are many things you need to know.”
She followed after him almost obediently. He was the only thing somewhat familiar to her here, and she didn’t want to leave his side. He walked down the stairs for a second then stopped, causing Sophia to bump into him lightly. She gave a low apology and he sighed. He turned and started in on what seemed to be very much memorized. “Some people like to take the stairs, and to count them- while others like to through their selves over the side. It’s your choice!” he tried to sound enthusiastic, but simply couldn’t do it. He sighed once more and looked at her. He continued down the stairs, counting them out loud, just low enough so it seemed he was trying to be discreet.
Close at his heels Sophia caught herself staring at the sleeping people. She soon realized many of ‘sleeping’ people were simply crying in silence. Many of the occupants had their backs to the stairs, as if trying to find some privacy in a very public place.
Finally they reached the bottom of the stairs and she looked up. Beyond the pad, there was a net to catch those who tried to jump from the very top. The stairs were padded on the edges, and ended in foam on the bottom. It was all very full-proof. She looked at the male in front of her, who had gained some distance in her time of observation. She quickened her pace, and caught up quickly. He glanced at her, almost annoyed at her curiosity. He kept walking, quickening his pace. He pointed to a large archway. Inside stone benches, all a dark blue, to match the cubby holes. There was a counter, and behind it was a dark shadow. A few people ate at the tables. A man was dragging a tin tray along the cement, spoons coming out of the shadows, putting food on the tray. When he was done, he almost dragged himself to a table. No two people sat at the same table. They all sat in a silent sadness, making the cafeteria seem dead.
“This is the mess hall. This is where we eat as a community, and share our problems!” Charles enthusiasm was so forced it almost seemed to hurt him. Her tried to smile, but failed miserably. He turned and looked down the hall. He waved his hand in the general direction. “You know what? Go look at this shit hole your self. The public bath rooms are that way, the library, and the gym. And don’t go any doors with red frames. That’s it, kid. Have a fucking blast.”
His gentleman demeanor just washed away. She glanced down the hall and gave a slight sigh, and muttered, “I’m assuming you don’t like your job.”
He turned to her, and glared. “No, I don’t. I’m just as fucked up as anyone else here, and yet I have to be the happy greeter. I don’t know when the damn job was put on me, but apparently I can’t quit. So, you can go look around, and try and enjoy this god forsaken place the best you can. Now just leave me alone.” He turned around and without looking back went back to the cubbie holes- Sophie assumed he was going to go lay in his cubbie and sob silently like the other sad sights in the main room. Sophia gave a sad little look at the back of his head, then looked at the hall way he had so rudely pointed out.
She walked down the hall, taking in all the details. She looked up, and saw on the cement hall’s ceiling it read in white, “SMILE! BE HAPPY! IT WILL BE O.K.!” over, and over, and over. Her eyes glanced over everything quickly, when they settled on the bath room doors. The girl’s room sign was hunched over, as if she was crying, and the boy’s sign was holding his fists up in anger, screaming in agony. Sophia went into the girls, turning left into the light purple cement room. On the ceiling in large white letters it said, “THINK PRETTY!” She turned to the mirrors, most of which were cracked, only to see her frazzled blonde hair was a complete mess. She had rings under her eyes, and tear streaked cheeks. Her eyes looked hollow and sad, but almost…angry. She looked down at her jeans that clung to her. She forgot why they were so necessary to her, but she wanted to remember. Her Black wife beater showed off the tops of her teenage breasts, as if it was necessary. Around her neck was a chain, and on that chain was a little gold ring. Why didn’t she just wear the ring? She couldn’t remember. Her nails were painted a black that looked like it had started to scratch off. Her bare feet showed the same; also she now recognized the feel of a chain on her ankle. She looked at it and there was half a heart on it, oh so small. She felt an odd warmth inside her when she saw it, but couldn’t place her finger on this feeling. Her blue eyes blinked and water filled her vision, blurring it. Her hand slammed into the mirror and she gave out a cry. She heard a stall behind her close quickly, and some one almost ran out of the bathroom, startled by the crash. Sophia looked at her fist- she wasn’t bleeding, luckily. She felt dirty, after looking at her self for so long. She continued walking in the bathroom, almost dragging her feet to move. She just wanted to curl into a ball. The bathroom took another left, and she found the shower. One girl was in it, in the far back. Many shower heads lined the walls, curtains separating them. She closed a curtained area that was far from the other girl. She stripped her clothes off, putting them on a hook that was out side the shower curtain. The white curtain didn’t hide very much, as she could see the shape of the other girl, and could see her move. She let the water run over her, sighing once, and then felt the harsh tears streak her face quicker and quicker, the onslaught relentless.
She had stood in that shower for hours. She walked out, not caring about her exposed self, and found that there was a towel now hanging from her hook. She took it and quickly dried, putting her clothes back on. She walked out into the bathroom, looking for some where to put her damp towel. Next to the showers was a cabinet, which was a almost too clean white. She opened it. On the shelves were towels, and below it was a shoot, that said ‘DIRTY’. She let it fall into the shoot, shrugging lightly. Hanging on the doors were several brushes, which she used quickly on her hair. Soon she was down prepping herself, attempting to make her sorrow some what less, but to no prevail.
A large dark blue archway opened on her right, and a small room with one cement bench in it, right in the middle, and one shelf, that covered the back wall. the floor was padded with the same foam that was on the floor in the main room. The pathetic Library looked completely untouched. Sophia backed out, and continued on her quest to see what this place held in store. Her grand quest came to an end as she turned a corner, a rounded right. She dragged her fingers along the cement, when she saw the end of the hall, a red framed door at the very end. To her left another door frame, inside was a bunch of mats for exercising, all of which were white. There was a window, and she rushed to it, having to get on her toes to see into it, her small five foot one structure barely letting her see what she hoped was the outside world. Instead, there was a light, and what looked like an old painted hell side. She sighed and dropped down; turning her disappointed self to see what else there was for exercising. There were several pull-up bars, and a medicine ball. With plenty of space, It seemed they preferred exercising to reading in this strange facility.
She slowly backed out, and looked at the red framed door with some curiosity. It said ‘Closed’ on a sign, written boldly in black on the cheap white plastic. She sighed and turned away, believing it was best to just follow the rules and be obedient.
