I'm so tired of remembering.

I haven’t been here in a while.
I’ve been really lost lately.
My moms on my mind.
I don’t remember how she sounds when she laughs.
But by god do I remember her cries, her screams… they won’t go away.
I hear them everyday.
And I keep having these dreams….I’m alone and its dark, and I can see my breath. I’m freezing. I say, “I’m so tired of being alone” and I feel arms around me, and I know its Adam- then I say, you came back! And he says he never left… and then I start in on some speech. I don’t know what I’m saying, I don’t understand the words. Then I say, “I’m so tired of remembering…”
And then i wake up.

i ask him if i talk, and he says yes. i don't ask him what i say, i don't want to know... nope nope nope...
i keep having these random like visions of my mom dying horribly. its pretty scary, and i make myself cry.

and people just pissed me off. they get at my picture without me knowing. They destroy it, this thing i photoshopped, without having me there to tell them what it means.


people are small minded and stupid.