i dont know where i want to be anymore.
i dont know, whats the point?
there are very few solid factors in my life anymore.
1.
T. she will always be there. she does more for me then any one. i love her so much.
2.
Adam. i know we have problems, but that happens when you live together, and spend the time we do.
3.
This stupid pain will always have the undertone of my mind. no matter what i have to watch it. this depression that controls me oh so very well. i hate this, it chains me down, drowns me, kills me, infects me. I'm tired of being a prisoner. im tired of all this stupid, sad pain. im tired of thinking the only way to fix myself is pills. im tired of being scared to tell anyone what i think because i dont want to end up in the hospitial. not again. never again. i can't deal. i want to curl up in a ball and die, i want to raise up and take control. i want my mommy, i want rosi, i want my adam, i want t. i want to be free, free free.
i want a lot of things.
but hey,
want in one hand, shit in another....right?

Wow. You could get rid of your depression of there was not depressing things in your life. Which seems to be rather hard.. Idk what to say anymore. You just need to be where you will be the happiest.
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