Just Let me Burn.

I don;t know anymore.

i don't think anyone reads this anymore,

unless i make T.

or she remembers.

[i'm just an ass for not posting on myspace]

but i need a place where no one can see it. no one.

'cept t.

[ gotta love t]

She's amazing.

shes like a cozy little island in the middle of a raging storm.

cause thats how i feel.

like i have her.

only her.

why?

they took my flower.

they took him away,

its so hard,

knowing you simpply can't have them.

they're right there.

and you can't touch.

i walk with my eyes lowered, by voice quiet. i don't misstep, because apparently if i slightly mess up, i get it. bad bad bad. no communication.

no nothin.

no flower.

no phone.

no communication.

isolation.

i almost hurt myself yesterday.

i almost killed myself.

because i know.

they do it once, they'll do it again and again.

she will.

i know it.

i thought...

i thought i had gotten away from it all.

i thought i had left my dad.

but when she was yellign at me yesterday,

i heard my dad.

i heard him.

i expected to feel his hands around my neck.

his fist on my stomach, his hand slapping my face.

no.

nothing.

but she is so unfair,so cruel.

i was so alone,

so alone and my only friend was this knife.

this knofe on my wrists.

this knife on my throat.

its so hard.

i need him.

i do.

i know i sound like some sobbing like some stupid sobbing female who needs to get over it,

but i...

my depression is so severe right now.

it was suicide watch severe before any of this happened.

god,

im so lost.