New Laptop! and it has blogger ON the desktop.
How OG is that?
14.7.09
If i ever leave this world alive.... again.
i know this won't go away, and i know i have to deal with this right now and right here or else i'm going to go crazy.
i want to kill myself. yes, i am sad, and no i`m not going to do it. but i feel as if people would simply be better off without me. i feel like i even hold t down. i feel like i am nothing but a burden to my parents. i feel like Adam could do better. i feel like at the end of the month, there would be more food if i was gone. i feel like this world would simply improve without me. Yes, people would be sad, but after that sadness, lives would improve. or at least look up a little bit.
I feel like my one life could easily be removed, and make many peoples lives so much more enriched. i feel like i am nothing but a barrier. i am constantly depressed, constantly angry, or constantly clingy. i am nothing.
i try and i try and i try. but there is nothing but more want. i am but one person and i have no more to give. i`m all washed up. now please leave me be. because even though i do it, it isn't good enough. whats the point in trying at all?
in anything? whats the point of anything anymore? only 2 people are true to me all the time. T. Adam. well, and my parents. i love them so much.
i wish people could see i hurt. i wish people could see my tears. but i am invisable. adam knows, but he's...over there.
imagine if he could get some one better, with less emotional baggage. imagine how fine he would have it in life. imagine. imagine.
imagine my parents with me gone. at least they'd have a real excuse i don't get on YIM, right?
imagine t. no more worrying about devon, or doing dtuff for her, or getting her stuff because no one else will.
imagine.
imagine the house with more room. one less person. imagine.
just imagine.
and i'd be your memory.
but all i would want was to be forgotten.
and i can't tell adam this, because he would be so sad, and he doesn't read my blogs.
cause i don't let him.
i need. i don't know what i need.
but something is obviously wrong.
i want to kill myself. yes, i am sad, and no i`m not going to do it. but i feel as if people would simply be better off without me. i feel like i even hold t down. i feel like i am nothing but a burden to my parents. i feel like Adam could do better. i feel like at the end of the month, there would be more food if i was gone. i feel like this world would simply improve without me. Yes, people would be sad, but after that sadness, lives would improve. or at least look up a little bit.
I feel like my one life could easily be removed, and make many peoples lives so much more enriched. i feel like i am nothing but a barrier. i am constantly depressed, constantly angry, or constantly clingy. i am nothing.
i try and i try and i try. but there is nothing but more want. i am but one person and i have no more to give. i`m all washed up. now please leave me be. because even though i do it, it isn't good enough. whats the point in trying at all?
in anything? whats the point of anything anymore? only 2 people are true to me all the time. T. Adam. well, and my parents. i love them so much.
i wish people could see i hurt. i wish people could see my tears. but i am invisable. adam knows, but he's...over there.
imagine if he could get some one better, with less emotional baggage. imagine how fine he would have it in life. imagine. imagine.
imagine my parents with me gone. at least they'd have a real excuse i don't get on YIM, right?
imagine t. no more worrying about devon, or doing dtuff for her, or getting her stuff because no one else will.
imagine.
imagine the house with more room. one less person. imagine.
just imagine.
and i'd be your memory.
but all i would want was to be forgotten.
and i can't tell adam this, because he would be so sad, and he doesn't read my blogs.
cause i don't let him.
i need. i don't know what i need.
but something is obviously wrong.
26.6.09
13.6.09
| Everything You Need to Know Created by yellowdaisy and taken 229 times on Bzoink | |
| The Basics | |
| Full Name: | Devon Vee A. |
| Nicknames: | Ms. VooDoo, The DevonAtor, Commie, V, Boo, Killgore |
| Birthdate: | 8/16 |
| Place Born: | Vallejo! |
| Zodiac Sign: | Leo FTW |
| Height & Weight: | kinda tall, and more to love. |
| Eye Color: | Brooown. |
| Hair Color: | Platnium blonde and Black. |
| Shoe Size: | 8 |
| Ring Size: | uhm... 10? i think. |
| Siblings: | too many. |
| Tattoos: | wanting. |
| Piercings: | 5. |
| Hobbies: | computers, video games, reading, writing, drawing, and BOSS <3 |
| Favorites | |
| Color: | Red |
| Food: | Oranges |
| Candy: | now and laters. twizzlers |
| Pizza: | cheese and sausage |
| Cereal: | OH's |
| Fruit: | Oranges |
| Vegetable: | Cabbage |
| Alcoholic Beverage: | Skyyyy. |
| Soda: | Vault |
| Cake: | Lisa'a strawberry cake. |
| Book: | corner of the universe |
| Radion Station: | what ever the hell t listens to. |
| Type of Music: | everything. |
| Movie: | 300, v for vendetta, natural born killers... Monty python of any kind |
| Cartoon: | Southpark |
| Actor: | Will smith |
| Actress: | nicole kidman |
| Music Group: | MSI. |
| Day of the Week: | Thursday |
| Month: | August |
| Season: | Winter |
| Holiday: | Halloween |
| Number: | 23 |
| Restaurant: | Uhm.... |
| Teacher: | Mr. gelpke |
| Hangout: | garages are fun. |
| Sport to Watch: | ...wrestling? |
| Sport to Play: | swimming |
| Animal: | Uhm... lizard. |
| Flower: | Sunflower! |
| Party Game: | appls to apples |
| Physical Feature: | Hair ^^ |
| Have You Ever | |
| Been on a Plane: | Yup |
| Ran into a wall: | Yeah |
| Fallen out of Bed: | yes >< |
| Woke up in someones bed: | my friends. |
| Smoked: | maybe. |
| Been Drunk: | lol |
| Kissed someone of the opposite sex: | yes |
| Kissed someone of the same sex: | yes |
| Cried over a movie: | yes... |
| Fallen asleep during a movie: | yes. |
| Made a Prank Call: | many/ |
| Skipped School: | yeah |
| Climbed a tree: | gotten stuck, too. |
| Broken a bone: | nope! |
| Passed out: | yeah >< |
| The Last | |
| Song you heard: | Poor jack |
| Thing you said: | "do it yourself" |
| Time you cried: | yesterday. |
| Movie you saw in a theater: | land of the lost |
| Thing you ate: | mint |
| Thing you drank: | MONSTER |
| Person to call you: | uh... tom. |
| Person you called: | chelsea |
| Time you showered: | yesterday |
| At this Moment | |
| What are you doing besides this survey: | texting and hanging out |
| What are you wearing: | my blue shirt dress thingy, blue jeans and so on. |
| What are you thinking: | My elbow hurts. |
| What do you wish yo were doing: | alot of things/ |
| Your Future | |
| Occupation: | Psycologist. |
| Marriage Site: | outside, if i get my way. |
| Honeymoon: | i wanna go to Tibet. |
| Place to Live: | i wish somewhere mountain-like. |
| Kids: | a couple. |
| Vehicle: | some kind of eco friendly car. |
| What are your plans for tomoro: | write moe stories, and clean the room again. |
| What are your plans for this weekend: | ^ |
| Next Vacation Site: | dunno. |
| Out of your Friends | |
| Best Friend: | T.David.Chelsea.kira.Adam. |
| Funniest: | Adam. |
| Loudest: | Chelsea. |
| Quietest: | T. |
| Craziest: | Kira. |
| Smartest: | David. |
| Sexiest: | Adam! |
| Most Hyper: | Chelsea...or kira. |
| Most Annoying: | chelsea, lol |
| Drinks the most: | David. |
| Parties the most: | David. |
| Has Kids: | none. |
| Is Married: | adam kinda. |
| Your Crush | |
| Who are you curently crushing on: | ADAM! |
| Who do you want tobe with right now: | adam! |
| Who do you wanna hug: | T! |
| Who do wanna kiss: | adam! |
| What is something you dont understand about the opposite sex: | why are you so fucking DUMB. |
| First thing you notice in the opposite sex: | hair. shirt off? chestttt. |
| What do you look for in personality: | open open open. |
| Biggest Turn off: | being a dick. |
| Biggest Turn on: | bwing dominent. |
| Do you like to hug: | yes! |
| This Or That | |
| Coke or Pepsi: | Pepsi |
| Sprite or Sierra Mist: | Monster. |
| Boxers or Briefs: | Boxers are sexy. |
| Bikini Underwear or Thong: | bikini |
| Flowers or Candy: | Candy |
| TV or Radio: | Radio |
| Coffee or Tea: | Coffee |
| Sun or Moon: | moon |
| Day or Night: | night |
| Dog or Cat: | dog |
| Ford or Dodge: | Ford |
| Dodge or Chevy: | Ford |
| Blond or Brunette: | Both! |
| Tall or Short: | tall |
| Comedy or Romance: | Comedy |
| Movie at home or Theater: | Theatre |
| Single or Group Date: | group |
| Single or Taken: | taken |
| Other Randomness | |
| What color is your shirt: | Blue on blue on blue. |
| What size is your bed: | queen? smaller maybe? big! |
| How long does it take you to shower: | edpends on my mood |
| What is something you cant live without: | music. |
| Can you cook: | Bake. |
| How old do you wanna be when you get married: | when im ready. |
| Where do you wanna get married: | when.im.ready. |
| What is your best physical feature: | nothing? lol |
| Do you talk to yourself: | kinda. its complicated. |
| Do you get annoyed easily: | YES. |
| Do you like piercing and tattoos: | yeees. |
| Are you crazy?: | legally. |
| Do you like to make out: | kinda. |
| Can you swim: | yup. |
| Could you be a teacher: | little kids. |
| Do you like Orange juice: | yup! |
| Are you bored: | very. |
| You've been totally Bzoink*d! Take This Survey | Search Surveys | Create a Survey  | |
31.5.09
I have to fake happy so i don't get inspected.
'Why the pouty face?' she'll say.
nothing nothing i'll have to reply.
im not allowed to miss my parents.
but just now she showed some kind of love.
i just... what am i to do?
i sat here, and stared at adam, and considered suicide for about 30 minutes straight.
i can't even...
writing is way too hard.
'Why the pouty face?' she'll say.
nothing nothing i'll have to reply.
im not allowed to miss my parents.
but just now she showed some kind of love.
i just... what am i to do?
i sat here, and stared at adam, and considered suicide for about 30 minutes straight.
i can't even...
writing is way too hard.
21.5.09
9.5.09
You wish.
You know when a person is a keeper when they come see you because your sad. you know you have have a friend for life when your writing a personal diary, or a blog, or anything and you feel like your writing to them-or like their going to read it. you know someone is meant to be in your life when spending 2 hours with them can feel like the best medicine in the world. You know you love some one more then the world when talking to them doesn't have a limit. there isn't a doubt on what you should and shouldn't tell them- even if they don't want to hear about bloody-booger crap. the simplest thing can mean more then anything, and this is a moment i will never forget. spending time with t has put me at peace, because i know through the fire and flames, there will always be T.
i fucking love you, and i know you wish you could cuss like me.
i fucking love you, and i know you wish you could cuss like me.
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